Last night Barney, a great family cat, died on the way to the vets. It is funny how family pets move from the realm of an animal to being something else with their own personalities and traits. Here is one of my favourite photos of him:

[I'll detail what I have been up to recently soon]

A 5th grade teacher gave her class an assignment: Tell the class about an experience in your family that has a moral at the end of the story.

The next day, the children came back and one by one, began to tell their stories.

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Ashley was first. She said: “My father is a farmer. We raise chickens and sell the eggs at the local market. Last week, we were taking our eggs to market in a basket. The basket was on the front seat of the car and when we hit a bump, the eggs went flying out of the basket and they all
broke.”

The teacher asked: “What is the moral of the story?”

Ashley responded: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

The teacher said: “Very good, Ashley.”

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Sarah was next. She said: “My father is a farmer too but we raise chickens and sell them to the local butcher. We had a dozen eggs last month but when they hatched, we only got 10 live chickens.”

The teacher asked: “And the moral to your story is….?”

Sarah responded: “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

The teacher said: “That was a fine story, Sarah.” Do you have a story to share, Johnny?”

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Little Johnny said: “Yes. My Daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was the flight engineer on a transport plane in the Gulf War and her plane was hit by enemy gunfire. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she could grab before she bailed out was machine gun, a machete and a bottle of scotch. On the way down, she drank the bottle of scotch so it wouldn’t break on impact. She landed in the middle of 50 enemy soldiers. She killed 30 of them with the machine gun but then it ran out of ammunition. She killed 10 of them with the machete until the blade broke. Then, she killed the last 10 with her bare hands.”

The teacher was horrified. She said: “Good heavens, Johnny! What possible moral could your father tell you at the end of that story?”

“Stay the f..k away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking.”

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says “Father forgive me for I have sinned. I committed adultery.”

Priest says: “How many times?”

Woman: “Three times.”

Priest says, “Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more.”

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Priest says, “What did you do?”

Man says, “I committed adultery.”

Priest asks, “How many times?”

Man replys, “Three times.”

Priest says, “Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more.”

The Rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

Rabbi says, “What did you do?”

Woman replys, “I committed adultery.”

Rabbi asks, “How many times?”

Woman says “Once.”

Rabbi says, “Go do it two more times, we have a special this week, three for $5.00.”

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “contageous” in a same sentence.

First, she asked little Suzie, who responded with, “My sister had measles and I couldnt go near her because she was contageous.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

“The doctor says we should have our shots because then we wont be contageous”

She said, “Excellent, Michael!” Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Bobby.

“Yesterday our neighbour had 3 tons of manure delivered to his front lawn for the roses on his back garden, and my dad said “Thats going to take that contageous to shift that lot”

Thursday was out with various people. All Bar One, Walkabout and Rococo was visited by various diminishing groups of people. It was a good evening and one that made me feel good. For the first time I was in the company of the ex and her bloke [Vic] and didn’t feel anything. No anxiety, no nervousness, nothing. I even managed to have a conversation with Vic much to the obvious horror to everyone. So that was fun.

Friday was Tap and Spiral with Ant and various physics people. Was a really good evening and ended up meeting some new people which I will put into the category of friends. It was amusing winding three lads up who weren’t the brightest bulbs in the world. After the girls had left, I asked the main person who was the brunt of the conversation whether he was having a good evening to which he could only say with an exasperated tone “What the hell was that all about?”.

Saturday was a good day down hydro boarding althought I did end up coming home with a sore hip [stacked a transition from heel to toe, fell over, board didn't leave both feet, twist in leg]. The evening was a quiet affair down at the Green Man in Harborne.

Sunday was spent meeting the people I met on Friday for a ching wag.

Monday I went for lunch with Alex. I think. We went to Jimmy Spices which was mediocre at best, although Alex assures me that the evening menu is much better.

I am really looking forward to the weekend as it is the big LHF road trip away for the weekend. It’ll be the first time everyone is heading out flying for the weekend since Wallop this year. I am going to, assuming I don’t injure myself, try these elusive 360s and even get in the water for a bit of body dragging. I’ve also been invited to a ‘Goths and Fairies’ party next week which means I am going to try and source some black make up from some of my female friends.

Here is another good group photo from the Hydro weekend:

This is one of the pictures that was taken at the weekend. I quite like it:

It is me doing spins on my board from stationary. The other pictures can be found here.