In a further effort to procrastinate, I have gone through and created 35 banners for the top of the page. It will choose one at random. These are all pictures that I love and I have taken (except two which my Mum took) in a vague, hand waving exercise, as rememberance to happy times.

As Camilla was making last-minute preparations to walk down the aisle, she found that her shoes were missing. She was forced to borrow her sister’s, which were a bit on the small side.
When the day’s festivities were finally over, Charles and Camilla retired to their room, right next door to the Queen’s and Prince Phillip’s.

As soon as Charles and Camilla were inside their room, Camilla flopped on the bed and said, “Darling, please get these shoes off, my feet are killing me.”

The ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked the right shoe with vigor, but it was stuck fast.

“Harder!” Camilla yelled. “Harder!”

“I’m trying, darling!” The Prince yelled back. “It’s just so bloody tight!”

“Come on! Give it all you’ve got!”

There was a big groan from the Prince, and then Camilla exclaimed, “There! That’s it! Oh that feels good! Oh that feels SOOO good!”

In the bedroom next door, the Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said, ‘See? I told you, with a face like that she was still a virgin.”

Back in the bridal suite, Charles was trying to pry off the left shoe.

“Oh, my God, darling! This one’s even tighter!” exclaimed the heir to the throne.

At which Prince Phillip turned to the Queen and said, “That’s my boy. Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!”

This is the image on IGN Insider:

That provoked this mail:

Although you may think this is a waste of time, I have to say, I WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT HAPPY WITH THE PICTURE OF THE HALO SOLDIER SCREWING THE 360 CONTROLLER you recently posted.

My son was with me when it popped up on the screen. He is 9 years old. For most 9 years old today- it may mean nothing (lack of proper parenting), but to some it does. It’s not needed or acceptable. You have ways of warning about adult related content in other areas of your website when needed, regardless of how mild the creator may deem it to be.

I have been reading this website since IGN64 and have been subscribing to your website for over 3 years and read it everyday for the normally great content you have been providing. However, if you continue to put this type of crap in plain view I WILL FIND ANOTHER GAMING WEBSITE TO GO TO!

-Jeffry

Which provided us all with this great reply:

I’m sorry you were offended. We always try to walk the line between edgy and acceptable content without turning away any fans. I also received a number of positive responses to the Master Chief Controller Love picture so it did bring some people out a little joy.

I suppose all I can say is that there comes a time in every boy’s life when he must learn what happens when an action figure and a video game controller really, really like each other.

–Dave

Which I thought was amusing and posted here.

And finally:

This is a fairly obvious picture that I think I am going to try and update every two years from now on, just so I have a timeline like memory of what I look like.

Someone asked this question on IM, so I thought I would answer. This is my response. (This post should be tagged ‘It’s stupid. Please Laugh’ but it isn’t)

I have always feared people sat down the pub and the conversation going something like this:

“read chris’s weblog?”

“yeah, that guy rocks, he has such a great site”

“yeah I know, but there is one thing that bugs me”

“whats that?”

“well, what is it about ?”

“what do you mean ?”

“what is the overall classification of such a fine site of writing ? fishing ? dancing ? bad jokes ? what ?”

“dude, I never thought of that, man, my life is now lost that we have had this conversation, if only I knew”

“yeah I know… I know”

So, to save those people, I just thought I would come out and tell people.

It made me chuckle.

Understanding Engineers – Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Understanding Engineers – Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers – Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George, say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.” The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “So will I. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.” The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

Understanding Engineers – Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your problem is.” The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. The bill was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Understanding Engineers – Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers ? Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers – Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.” Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.” The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?

Understanding Engineers – Take Seven

Normal people … believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers – Take Eight

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”

Understanding Engineers – Take Nine

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Wow.

Life can really be highly hectic at times. Last week we headed over to Wolverhampton for Si’s birthday night. It was a good laugh and I really enjoyed it. Met some new people, chatted and all in all, had a really good time. Bailey, Alex and myself shared a hotel room to save the uncomfortability of a lounge sofa or a poor bed. However, Alex and Bailey left Walkaboot early and I had to stumble off to the hotel by myself. During my random ambling through Wolverhampton, I managed to bump into a couple of people that were also staying in the same hotel and I ambled back with them.

Saturday found me feeling very hungover, and so upon my return to Harborne, I went to fetch some coke, some sprite, and 5 dvds. I picked up Hostage, Million Dollar Baby, The Machinist, The Aviator and Flight of the Pheonix. All the films where very much enjoyable but I found a couple of surprises in The Aviator and Million Dollar Baby, both of which were very much not the films I thought they were. During the afternoon I watched Hostage and Mum arrived about 4ish and we sorted various things out involving the flat. In the evening we went to Valentinos for some food and some wine. When we got back we watched the first half of The Aviator. Then crashed.

Sunday morning I cooked a fried breakfast, and afterwards we watched the second half of The Aviator. We then went and picked up Mum’s laptop from her sisters and then went to Comet to pick some things up. Afterwards I kicked Mum out and then raced into town to help Rob pick up a suit. Came back and whipped up a roast dinner for myself and Marianne before she started her string of nights. Ant came round and we watched Million Dollar Baby.

Monday was hectic, trying to fix some code and then got told I was needed in Sweden. I organised a hire car and went to pick it up, drove down to my Dad’s house and went for a swim. Got up early Tuesday (4am ish) and drove to Heathrow. Caught my flight, although it was really rather delayed. This meant that to catch my connection in Copenhagen, I had to leg it through the airport. My luggage also didn’t move quite so quickly and didn’t turn up till some hour later in the day.

Sweden was fin although hard work. All the issues that needed solving were solved and I ambled back on Thursday. Flight home was fun. Got transferred to a single flight to Heathrow (all flights to Oslo where severely delayed). It was scheduled to leave about 8pm but didn’t leave till 8.30pm. However, I was still at Heathrow for about 10pm. The most amusing thing was, having found my seat, I fell asleep and woke up an hour later in the air. It had taken off and I didn’t even realise! Picked up a hire car and drove back to my Mum’s house.

Friday I ambled back to Birmingham via a shoe shop picking up some new trainers. Dropped the car off and came back to the flat. Had my ADSL sorted whilst I was away which was nice. Spent the day sorting out various different things. In the evening we went out down to the pub for Mike’s birthday. Ended up in Ramshackle which was fun.

Yesterday Si, Ant and I ambled to the pub, had some breakfast. Then we picked up some stuff for Ant from physics, went and had some bets on the football and then did nothing very much. In the evening we had a very sophisticated wine and cheese evening whilst watching The Machinist. We also had some port.

This morning Si ambled off (and dropped Maz home) after a bacon sandwich. I have spent some time sorting out my room and all my clothes, done some washing, sorted out my network so all is good.

Have a good rest of the weekend

I am going to write a long post at some point about my travels (Wolverhampton, Sweden) but I thought that I would post some photos from my phone that I have taken (I was syncing it and thought I would copy them over). Anyway here they are:

First of all, lets start of with a couple of funny images:

This is from the local fish and chip shop. Every time I go in, the name “Large Fishin ana Chippies”, cracks me up. Thought I would share this gem with the rest of the world. For those of you who live in the Birmingham area, this is Sara’s Pizzas in Harborne.

This was from Blockbuster. I think it is a great strategy, making the deal combined price bigger than the two individual prices added together. I’ll have four please bob.

Onto Sweden. Having been three times, I thought it was about time I stopped and took a few photos on my phone.

This is the burger stand and some Swedish people. They almost look normal

This is up the street from the burger stand.

This is the opposite direction. The burger stand is just outside the office.

The next two are me, Ant and Si in Varsity having completed a tasty hangover fixing fried breakfast!